Thursday, December 19, 2013

Things to Cook

Huffington Post is a decent source of news articles, but when they offer up lifestyle info, the articles tend to lean toward the silly. And articles like this one -- 30 Recipes You Should Know How to Cook By the Time You're 30 -- merely points out how I live in a different world than HuffPo does. Sometimes -- okay, most of the time -- I read these articles for the humor value. This time, I saw it as a source for a blog post, a list that needed to be deconstructed, item by item. Shall we begin?

  1. Grilled Cheese: I rarely eat it. It's a treat for restaurant dining.
  2. Basic Vinaigrette and a Simple Salad: Salad in a bag! Store-bought dressing. Why would I need to do this from scratch?
  3. Guacamole: I don't like it. Never have. Will never want to eat it, let alone make it.
  4. French Toast: Yeah, I can make this. Easy enough to not count as cooking.
  5. Scrambled Eggs: See #4. Actually, I can make eggs a variety of ways.
  6. Brownies: Whenever I made these, back in my single days, I used a mix.
  7. Mashed Potatoes: Yeah, I can boil up and mash potatoes. If I make them, they're plain and potato-ey.
  8. Green Beans: Frozen veggies are our friend.
  9. Chocolate Chip Cookies: My one baking skill. I use the Joy of Cooking recipe, with a few minor adjustments -- mini chips and more of them! It's the one thing I can do well from scratch.
  10. Sauteed Greens: Why? 
  11. Polenta: Never ate this, have no interest in trying it.
  12. Roasted Vegetables: Again, frozen veggies have served me well over the years, no need to end that relationship.
  13. Poached Salmon: Not a fish eater. I hate the smell of fish. The only salmon I'll eat is smoked, aka lox. On a bagel lathered in cream cheese.
  14. Chicken Soup: No one will equal my maternal grandmother's chicken soup, so I won't even try. If I want this, there are great restaurants for it.
  15. Risotto: Not my thing. 
  16. Steak: Get a steak, toss it in a pan or a broiler tray, season with spices that are supposed to go with meat. Someone once told me to use sage.
  17. Deviled Eggs: Don't like 'em.
  18. Roast Chicken: The supermarkets sell these, and they're rather tasty.
  19. Burgers: Puh-leaze! I want a burger, I go to the experts. I'm enamored of Bareburger these days.
  20. Mac and Cheese: Another for the experts, like Sarita's, but yeah, I can make this, stove-top, no baking. And I no longer make it using Kraft's mix, so that's a step up.
  21. Pancakes: Yup, can do this. It does require using a mix, but I'm okay with that.
  22. Ratatouille: Another food that will never cross my lips.
  23. Perfect Rice: Not just rice! Perfect rice! Nevermind. If I want rice, Rice-a-Roni is good enough for me.
  24. Tofu Stir-Fry: Just. No. Not. Ever. Not tofu anything.
  25. Spaghetti and Meatballs: I can toss together some spaghetti and meat sauce, because it's easier to just pulverize chopped meat in a frying pan and add it to canned tomato sauce and then toss in some extra seasonings, like cinnamon, something a roommate once taught me.
  26. Tomato Soup: Don't really like it, and really, not much of a soup eater. Should I have guests, they won't be getting soup.
  27. Potatoes au Gratin: A bit fancy, no? They can have plain ol' mashed potatoes, or no potatoes. Sheesh.
  28. Minestrone Soup: Again with the soup. No soups.
  29. Pizza: This just begs for takeout, though I know of people who make their own. I admire them, but I'll stick with takeout.
  30. Beef Bourguignon: I've had this once, homemade for a work holiday party. Not something I'd ever want to try to make.

And there we have it! Oh, and if I do invite people over for dinner, a rarity in my adult life, I'd just get takeout. If you want to try your hand at any of these and need help, the HuffPo article links to recipes.