Thursday, December 29, 2011


So far, it just feels as if I've had a day off. Still trying to wrap my brain around the concept of this not being a vacation. I'm really not going back to the library and the office I occupied for nearly 20 years.

My apartment is a mess right now. The den, which I use as an office of sorts, is particularly messy with all the junk I brought back from my work office. And that was only a portion of the junk I had there. I gave a lot of things, mostly office toys, to fellow staff, then tossed the stuff I didn't need (duplicates of what I have at home, mostly). One of my staff took so many things to remember me by that her cubicle resembled a shrine to me last I saw. That tickles me, that someone thought enough of me as a supervisor to want some of my things.

Looking back, I can honestly say I was a supervisor I would've wanted: someone who would be great to work for if you didn't give me any crap. Some people gave me crap -- whining about schedules, going over my head when they didn't like my answers, not being team players, always late, and so on -- and toward them, yes, I was not always the nicest person to work for. I wasn't a fair supervisor because I didn't treat people equally. I tried to be fair, really, but some people are a lot easier to treat fairly than others. I did the best I could and I never asked people to do things I wouldn't or couldn't do, and I tried to learn from my mistakes. I'm proud of what I did at that library and the branches I worked in previously, and I'm going to miss my colleagues and staff. I wish them all well.

I'm going to miss most of the public, too, especially the ones I've gotten to know while doing phone reference. That branch has a lot of regulars and I loved talking books with many of them. There are others I won't miss, especially the ones who insisted on talking over the phone with the TV or radio blasting in the background, or worse, people arguing in the background. Or the ones using cell phones that cut in and out, or picked up street noises as people walked and talked and then got annoyed when I couldn't hear everything they were saying and had to keep asking them to repeat what they'd said. I'm not going to miss the rude people or the ones who felt entitled to special service for whatever reason.

But I will miss my fellow science fiction fans and the man who also loves historical mysteries, especially set around World War II. Or the folks who loved talking to me, who said they were glad they got me because I always found the right books for them. I'll miss the ones who enjoy trying new things and were open to my suggestions, then were nice enough to let me know whether or not they enjoyed the books I recommended and didn't blame me if they didn't like them. I'll miss the feeling that I was making a difference in people's lives. That's the greatest kick of all.

But I sure don't miss getting up early, before the sun rises this time of year, and commuting on the subway during rush hour. Nope, I don't miss that at all.

Feeling: mellow