Saw these on buttons from Ephemera.com (they make my "Chocolate Slut" button) at Ricky's and had to share. I also had to scribble them down on my train ride home. I wish I'd been able to jot down more because they don't seem to have all that many on the Ephemera website.
"It's not that I'm old. Your music really does suck."
"I don't get hot flashes. I take short, private vacations in the tropics."