Saturday, January 07, 2006

We Get Letters

We get letters at the library. At first, the letter that showed up yesterday looked legit. Sure, a post office box in CT return address isn't typical, but then, we get letters from people who are incarcerated, so I usually don't pay attention to such details. And it started out harmless enough. The writer had some questions. We often get such letters (well, at least a few times a year) because folks are always sending such letters to (name of major urban library) and we're near the top of the list. About 2 sentences in, however, it became apparent, if not obvious and painfully clear, that the writer was either having some fun, oddly sincere and therefore perhaps had issues, or, well, nuts.

After a fairly humorous paragraph describing a visit to an unnamed library somewhere in the northeast, where the writer got bored because there were no videogames and the librarian kept shushing him, he asked some questions. To wit (I'm repeating only the ones that were actually funny, the rest being rather lame):

"Would webbed feet allow me to park in a handicapped spot so I can stop taking the bus?"

"Are knee high nylons part of the dress code for librarians? Thigh highs or perhaps control top pantyhose would not only look better because the waistband is roomy and the hosiery silky, soft, comfortable, and not to mention elegant, but they feel better too."

Clearly, Mr. KS has never worn control top pantyhose which, unless you're already skinny and have no need for them, have an annoying way of cutting off circulation. Unless, perhaps, he finds lack of circulation comfortable. I don't.

In addition, he adds that libraries should "advise the public that the only thing they're going to find at the library is books -- and most with no pictures. Also, that there are no arcade games like Space Invaders."

Again, he shows no knowledge of libraries, or missed the CDs, DVDs, videos, magazines (with plenty of pictures), computers with internet access, and other things that aren't books. However, he did provide me with a few chuckles on a long, somewhat annoying day, so for that, he has my thanks.